My little one has been sick for the past few days, and the majority of my time has been spent cuddling her on the couch, reading to or watching shows with her, and reading to myself when she sleeps. It is precious and also frustratingly slowed down time. A snapshot of motherhood.
I had a creative to-do list that I was excited about working on this week, which has had to be put aside as I focus on my girl instead. To keep my momentum up, I've been turning to the books and online people who give me the greatest feeling of empowerment - the sense that I can do it, that I am doing it. They are the loved, worn maps that I keep in my back pocket, of a landscape I have to take somewhat on faith since the fog of the unknown never lets me see more than a few feet ahead on the trail. And on weeks like this, when I've had to stop and camp early on a day I thought I'd be making some headway, trekking some serious miles, it's easy to get discouraged and feel indefinitely stuck. At these times, I find, you have to pull out your maps. Not necessarily to navigate where you're going, but to reassure yourself that the landscape does exist and that others are in it with you, even if you can't see them through the fog.
One of the single best purchases you can make for yourself if you're trying to pursue a creative dream is Anne Lamott's book of advice to writers, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. If you want to write, it's superb - both philosophical and technical, and also (like everything she writes) hilarious and poignant in equal measure. But it's also completely encouraging and applicable if, instead of writing, you want to paint, or act, or sculpt, or anything. The philosophy still holds. The tools of being persistent, brave and gentle with yourself are useful no matter what you're working on. Yesterday I read these passages and found them wonderfully comforting:
On not giving up in the beginning: "The discouraging voices will hound you--'This is all piffle,' they will say, and they might be right. What you are doing may just be practice. But this is how you are going to get better, and there is no point in practicing if you don't finish."
On the perils of wanting to be original: "Mark Twain said that Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before. Life is like a recycling center, where all the concerns and dramas of humankind get recycled back and forth across the universe. But what you have to offer is your own sensibility, maybe your own sense of humor or insider pathos or meaning. All of us can sing the same song, and there will still be four billion different renditions."
Another map I go to often is the creativity workbook, The Artist's Way. Talk about an incredible resource for creative types, especially if you feel blocked or like you're still waiting for things just to get off the ground. The margins of the book are filled with inspiring quotes, and this week I'm loving this one, by philosopher and psychotherapist (and nephew of Aldous Huxley), Piero Ferrucci: "How often - even before we began - have we declared a task 'impossible'? And how often have we construed a picture of ourselves as being inadequate?... A great deal depends upon the thought patterns we choose and on the persistence with which we affirm them."
Lastly, my fall online painting class teacher, Lisa Congdon, did this in-depth interview on The Great Discontent, which I read today. It includes this gem of advice from Lisa on staying true to yourself and not rushing: "If you want to be a great artist, use what you are passionate about internally. Draw from yourself, not from what other people are doing. That’s number one. And take great care with your work. Be meticulous, take the time, make it your best. The combination of that care, attention, work ethic, and authenticity is a really strong formula."
So that's what I wanted to share today. Not the work I was hoping to share, but the trailmarkers along the journey instead. I hope they might bring some of you the same reassurance they bring me.
In the meantime, while I wait for my sweet little Maeve to get better, the only thing I'm painting is my nails. They're making me happy, though. I love the combination of the neutral (Essie Jazz) with the overlay of silver sparkles (an ancient cheap bottle by N.Y.C). Appropriately and unintentionally, they keep making me think of a starry sky peeking through the fog...
What are some of your go-to inspirations when you get bogged down? Please do share.
