is to screw up,
to fuck up,
to get it wrong.
That is the price of admission you pay
to enter the carnival of wild, intense love and devotion that is having a child,
however that child came to be yours.
Whether through the insane miracle that is biological creation,
the insane miracle that is adoption,
the insane miracle that is falling in love with a child's parent and falling in love with the child, too,
or a combination of those miracles,
if you are a parent
you have the mingled grief and privilege of completely messing up your care of that child.
Not all the time. Not all the time at all.
But so very much more often
than you could have imagined before you became a parent.
I am not talking about abuse. Abuse is a different subject entirely.
I am talking about making mistakes.
Forgetting important things.
Focusing on unimportant things.
Feeling shame about the huge chasm between the parent you want to be and the parent you are.
It is the price of admission.
And everyone else you see at the carnival,
is paying that price, too.
Don't forget that.